This Week - Good bjs, Getting it in and Fantasy sex Roger blows in with this:
Hi James, What's your advice on giving better/amazing blowjobs? What should I be doing? What are the best techniques to use on a guy?
James says:
Well you need to get in some practice! Try using your tongue as well as your mouth so not only do you suck your partner but you also use your tongue to enhance the feeling even more by rubbing it along his cock.
You can also move down to his balls as well - some guys really like having their balls licked or sucked! If you lift your partner's ass up too then you can push his dick down so you can run your mouth and tongue down his cock, along his balls and into his ass as well.
Another way of giving amazing oral sex is deep throating his cock but it is really important that you learn how to do this and if he is very thick then be careful not to have your teeth in the way or you will cause him pain or damage his dick.
To deep throat more easily get yourself in the best position such as lying face up on a bed with your head hanging back so that the throat is straight. The more you practice deep throating the easier it gets and the less you react to your gag reflex. It's down to trust between you and your partner. The slower he takes it, the further he will end up being able to get into you.
There are actually some new products that you can try on your throat to reduce gaging although I don't know how effective they are, but they may be worth a try!
Graham squeezes in this:
Hi I'm Graham. My partner is having problems actually getting it in me, no matter how much lube we use. I think I'm a bit tight and he goes soft after a short time, so somehow it just doesn't work. How will he be able to get it up as I'm just sick of the blowjobs and nothing more. I haven't had it in me in a long time. Please help.
James replies:
There are a few things you can try here. The first is to help keep your partner hard by maybe trying some viagra or a cock ring. This should mean he can stay harder more easily and not go soft. His doctor will probably be able to prescribe viagra if he explains the problem here.
The other thing you can do is to make sure that you are also ready to be fucked when he is hard! Ask him to get you ready more using his fingers, rimming, or a dildo so that you are less tight when he is ready to fuck you. That way he can get inside you easier and probably once he is inside you he will be able to remain hard more easily.
The key here is for the two of you to approach this together. It's not all on him to stay hard, as the worry will make him go soft. It's not all on you to be open and ready, as this will make you go tense and close up. The two of you must work together, stay relaxed and gently enjoy the experience. It's love making just between the two of you, not a sporting marathon in front of a crowd.
Raymond has a worry:
James, my partner and I have been together for 5 years. I've recently found out he's been having fantasy sex with other guys in chat rooms. He was sending his naked pictures to them. When I talked to him about it, he said it was just fantasy and he would never act on it. I am now having trouble trusting him, but should I?
James answers:
You need to decide whether or not you think he is cheating on you. Some people would consider having an erotic chat online as cheating whereas other people would not consider this as cheating - they would only think that they are being cheated on if he actually met someone and had sex with them.
You have been together for some time now and it is quite normal that after 5 years your sex life may not be as exciting as it was when you first met. Maybe that is why he enjoys chatting online sometimes and if he is not actually meeting anyone then maybe no harm is being done. It's something you need to discuss with your partner and this lack of communication between you should be your primary concern.
Find out how he would like to alter the sex you have, new positions, new locations, and maybe some new types of sex you haven't tried before. Find out what turns him on, and just how both of you can make it better for each other.
